Adoption: Open or Closed

Being 100% honest, there are some things about closed adoption that sometimes seem appealing, things that make open adoption hard, for all of us. But also being 100% honest I have never for a second wished we had our adoption closed. I have friends who have closed adoptions - from all sides of the adoption triad - that are happy with it being closed and don't wish for it to be open. I don't believe open is always the right choice, and I don't think it necessarily makes it easier on anyone in the triad. There's good and bad about both. But the truth is, I ache for those in closed adoptions, just because I love open so much. I can't imagine wondering what Abby's birth mom was up to, how her life was going, where she was, what she looked like, what the circumstances surrounding her decision to place were, how much she ached from not having Abby with her any more, what she thought about us, if she had other children, if she was married, etc. I still have questions in regards to how Cheyenne is doing and what she thinks of us, she's not super open about these things, but I would wonder more if I didn't even know who she was. And I think I may feel more guilt knowing I couldn't share any of Abby's amazingness with her. I'm so grateful Abby and Cheyenne know each other. I'm grateful Abby will have the chance to ask her the hard questions. I'm grateful Cheyenne gets to hold Abby, and see her grow up, and know she is happy and healthy and doing great. I wish so much that all those in adoption had those opportunities!
My favorite song for today "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tale (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_iRdgGZ6Xc). Other good ones: "I Wonder" by Kellie Pickler, "I Know You're Out There Somewhere" by Moody Blues, "Who Am I" by Phil Collins, "He Would Be Sixteen" by Michelle Wright, and "See You gain" by Carrie Underwood.