Even though there is a lot of pain associated with adoption, there's a lot of joy and awesomeness too. And that was true of the day we brought Abby home. Even though my heart was breaking for the pain Cheyenne was experiencing, it was also filled with joy - joy that we were bringing home OUR DAUGHTER, that we were FINALLY PARENTS. I feel confident that all (or nearly all) parents are so excited to bring their new children home. I also feel confident that I was more excited than I would have been if children had come easier. The wait was LONG, it was HARD, but it made the receiving of the desired blessing so much more special. 

From the day we received the email telling us about Abby until we brought her home (well, until she was 4 or 5 months old I guess) I did not sleep well. I didn't sleep through the night. I'm kind of like a little kid in that if I am excited about something I have a hard time sleeping. I never sleep in Christmas morning. When I go home to visit my family I can't sleep in. I can't sleep in on vacation. If I'm excited, I'm awake. It would have been great if I could have slept before bringing Abby home (since I didn't sleep much after) but I was just too excited for sleep. I was also too excited to remember to eat. Because of this lack of eating and sleeping I lost a lot of weight and I was visibly tired. 
But that morning as we were waking up in the hospital (I think I maybe slept an hour, maybe 2, throughout the night) Ryan told me I looked sexy. I was surprised because he had been telling me how worn out I looked. So I asked him about that. He told me I had a "Mommy glow". That's how I felt, that all the joy and excitement I was feeling was so intense that it couldn't stay inside of me, that it had to shine out, I had to glow. (I did try to keep my glow a little dim around Cheyenne - I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not.)
We (Ryan, Abby, Cheyenne, her parents, my mom, my sister, our 2 case-workers, and I) all walked out to the car together (well I guess Ryan didn't walk out with us - he went to get the car). That was super emotional - a mix of super sad and super excited and complete gratitude and humility and everything. But then it was just Ryan, Abby, and me in the car. Our little family, and we were on our way home. And it was peaceful and joyful and wonderful. And then we got home Ryan's family was there and we got to introduce them to Abby and it was amazing. (There were no grandkids on Ryan's side of the family. The youngest child in their family is a month older than me. They've been wanting little ones for a LONG TIME. They were excited!) Ryan and I were so SO EXHAUSTED, I couldn't believe how tired I was. I didn't want to do anything but just bask in the joy of having a baby, our baby. And that's what I did. 
This song just makes me happy when I hear it. One, because I love John McCuthcheon (my dad listened to him lot, still does actually, so I have a soft spot in my heart for him), but more because it is just so happy and tells so well our adoption story and how happy the journey ends: "Happy Adoption Day" by John McCutcheon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdLN4VoobSs
Oh, who would have guessed, who could have seen
Who could have possibly known
All these roads we have traveled, the places we've been
Would have finally taken us home
Chorus:
So here's to you, three cheers to you
Let's shout it, "Hip, hip, hip, hooray!"
For, out of a world so tattered and torn,
You came to our house on that wonderful morn
And all of a sudden this family was born
Oh, happy Adoption Day!
There are those who think families happen by chance
A mystery their whole life through
But we had a voice and we had a choice
We were working and waiting for you
Chorus
No matter the name and no matter the age
No matter how you came to be
No matter the skin, we are all of us kin
We are all of us one family
Chorus