The Wait

From the time we started the adoption process the first time until we brought Abby home was 2.5 years. This time we have already been waiting over a year. Once you've decided to adopt there are lots of things to consider and decide upon. Do you only want to do infant adoption or would you be willing to adopt older children? Only through an adoption agency or would you adopt through foster care? Only domestic or would you do international. Those are the big questions. And then once those are answered there are a lot of follow up questions. Would you adopt a child with special needs, and if so how severe can the need be? What race are you willing to adopt? Boy or girl or either? What about a sibling group? What countries would you be willing to adopt from? How old of children would you be willing to adopt? It's strange with adoption that you even need to make choices like this. When children are born into your family you don't get to pick all these things. And really, I feel strongly that Abby would have found her way to our family no matter what. The adoption was so we can also have her birth family in our family now. And I also feel confident I will feel the same way about all our future children. And so it is important to me that we pursue adoption in the way Heavenly Father directs us. Sometimes it is hard waiting patiently for our family to grow. It is hard not to just try a new agency, or pursue international or foster adoption. And maybe one day we will, once we feel directed to do so smile emoticon. We are open to it!
I have lots of adoption heroes, but some of those I especially look up to have adopted through foster care, and another adopted internationally. These heroes I am thinking of adopted older children. What makes them heroic in my eyes is how much love they have for their children, how forgiving they are, how willing to look past the behaviors that are a result of trauma in their child's early life (look past in that they can see the cause, and yet still try to address the pain so it can be healed), how they are able to help these children know they are part of the family just as much as anyone else, even if they weren't in it from infancy. They are incredible parents with huge hearts and are so inspiring. And I think their children are heroes too, to open their hearts again after having them broken so severely, to learn to trust and love again, to let themselves change.
I haven't faced many of the trials these heroes have faced. One thing I can just start to related to is the agony of waiting to bring your child home. (International adoption can be a VERY LOOOOOOONG process, foster adoption too.) I only had 8 days of waiting - 8 days of wanting to bring Abby home, 8 days of waiting to be the one who could advocate for her and care for her. Those eight days were enough to let me see how hard it would be to have to wait months and years to bring your child home.
My top 2 songs for today: "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA) and "When Love Takes You In" by Steven Curtis (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beZ5hF-qZDY). But some other really good ones: "Amos Story" by Aaron Ivey, "Kings and Queens" by Audio Adrenaline, "So Far to Find You" by Casting Crowns, and "Home" by Phillip Phillips.