When You Say Nothing At All

Abby is multiracial - 1/16 Japanese, 1/16 Cherokee, 3/8 Caucasian, and 1/2 African American (well, we don't actually have a relationship with her birth dad - his choice - so we don't know much about his back ground, but you get the point). There have been a few people that have told me she looks like me, but mostly I think people wonder when they see us together. It doesn't offend me, I wonder when I see children with adults of a different race. Sometimes I hear comments that just make me kind of smile inside (or outside) - like one time we were at the air port and the ladies at the check-in counter kept telling me how cute she is (a common occurrence.) (Ryan wasn't right with us.) As we were walking away I heard one of them say "She must look like her dad." Not offensive, just amusing to me. Other times it takes me a second to understand what people are talking about. Like this one time I was talking with a girl I had just met. She asked me where my husband was from, so I told her the city he grew up in. And then I realized what she really wanted to know - what is Abby's racial background - what went into making such a beautiful little person? So, I told her what she really wanted to know. The truth is, I don't think about our genetic differences that much. I obviously always know I didn't pass on DNA to Abby, I know we adopted her, but I don't think about it constantly, she's just my daughter. And truthfully, sometimes Ryan and I will catch ourselves wondering if she got a certain thing from us, including physical traits, and then we remember, no - we didn't pass that on. But then, there are some things that do seem like reflections of us. When I smile big my nose wrinkles, it always has. In fact, it used to be a big embarrassment to me. But now, Abby wrinkles her nose when she smiles too. I don't know if she would have regardless, but I haven't noticed it in Cheyenne or her parents (or her birth father's family - yes, I do facebook stock him - don't tell ). And the older she gets the more I see her reflect me back. I love seeing Cheyenne in her, but it does make me happy when I get to see some of myself in her (but, to be honest, there are some things I would rather not see reflected back, so I'm working on that.) The other thing is, the more I just see Abby. Her unique, fantastic, loveable perfection - her own personality, and that's what I love best. I love Abby, all of her. The more we're together the better I know her and can read her. I feel so blessed that I get to be the one who spends the most time with her, that I can understand her best. I just love her and am so grateful I get to be her mom!
Song: "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss