Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Our Conversation

Conversations with Abby...
Me: "I love you so much!"
Abby: "Cheyenne loves me so much she grew me in her tummy"
Me: "True!"
Later that same day we were reading our Abby book (a photo book I made that tells our family story, particularly about how Abby joined us.) When we got to the first page of pictures of her and Cheyenne she pointed at one and said "That's my Cheyenne". I LOVE that she will never wonder if she was placed for adoption because she was unloved or unwanted. She KNOWS just how much she has always been loved, wanted, and cherished! ‪#‎openadoption‬ ‪#‎adoptionrocks‬ ‪#‎welovebirthmoms‬

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

She's Back!

Today I got my Abby back, somewhat. She has been sick the past few days. She woke up from her Sunday nap with a fever, and it was constant until late last night. But no fever today, hallelujah. While she was sick she was miserable and wanted to be held 100% of the time. It reminded me of when she was a baby and colicky. If she fell asleep and I was holding her and tried to lay her down she woke up immediately. If she fell asleep laying next to me and I left she woke up within five minutes (like I tried to eat a bowl of cereal and only got half way through.) I learned during those colic days that instead of being frustrated because I "wasn't accomplishing anything" to enjoy the time with her, enjoy the cuddles and closeness her desire to be with me. I knew it wouldn't last, and it hasn't. Abby is not a terribly snuggly kid. She's gotten a little more cuddly, but I still don't get as much cuddle time as I would like. She's generally to active to slow down for such things. So during the 2.5 days she wanted to be glued to me I enjoyed it (although my heart broke with how much pain she was in.) I also enjoyed the sweet things she would do. Like when I would be holding her and she would be so close to asleep that I would be convinced she was, and then I would cough and she would say "bless you." Or when we were laying down reading and she leaned in a little closer and said "I love you so much." Or when I was laying with my head on a pillow and she was sitting right next to my head on the same pillow and she wrapped her arm around my head and said "I'm holding you." Today she is closer to her normal self. Almost no snuggles today - she was busy and jumping. (She's still not 100% percent which makes her more whiny and grumpy.) But she isn't in so much pain which makes me very happy. But moments like those when she is just so sweet are what make being a mommy the best job in the world. I am so grateful I finally got to have my dream job. Thanks for finding me my angel Abby. ‪#‎iloveher‬ ‪#‎adoptionrocks‬ ‪#‎iloveadoption‬‪#‎abbysthebest‬

Friday, September 12, 2014

Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day weekend was very full and very fun. Friday night is family fun night. Abby and I attended a lot of summer reading programs over the summer and at one of them we got coupons for Peter Piper Pizza, so we decided to take Abby there for the first time. We had a lot of fun. Saturday we bought season passes to Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor and then went to Six Flags with Ryan's parents and Abby's birth grandma, Cathy (we wanted Cheyenne to come too but she had to work frown emoticon ). It was great. I loved seeing Abby hold hands with two of her grandmas. I love that to her it doesn't matter whether we are genetically related or not, she is just surrounded by people who love her and she loves them. She had lots of fun with Cathy and I'm so glad she came with us. Sunday we spent the night at Ryan's parent's then went with them to Hurricane Harbor on Monday, followed by a barbecue at the their house. It is so great to have family nearby!   








‪#‎ilovemyfamily‬ ‪#‎adoptionrocks‬ ‪#‎openadoption‬‪#‎iloveadoption‬ ‪#‎choosingadoption‬ ‪#‎hopingtoadopt‬ ‪#‎adoption‬‪#‎modernfamily‬ ‪#‎myworld‬

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Heavenly Father's Plan for Our Family

Monday night is family night at our house. Well, really every night is, but Monday is intentional and dedicated. We have a spiritual lesson and an activity before bed. This past Monday our lesson was on Heavenly Father's plan. We read a story about a little girl who's dog was sick and she was praying that he wouldn't pass away. She realized after a while that it may be better for her dog if he did pass away so that he wouldn't have to suffer any more. So then she prayed that he wouldn't be in pain and that Heavenly Father's plan would work out. We then talked about the atonement and Christ praying and asking Heavenly Father to make it so he wouldn't have to do it but that he was willing to do what needed to be done for Heavenly Father's plan to work out. And then I told Abby about how when we got married we wanted to have kids, and we prayed and asked Heavenly Father to make our bodies function right so that I'd get pregnant and have a baby, the way most people bring children into their families. But after a while we prayed that we would be blessed with children in what ever way worked with Heavenly Father's plan. And because of that he blessed us with Abby, that we were able to adopt her, and that was so much better than any plan we had thought of - that Heavenly Father's plan was the best plan because that was how we got her. Her response: "Yes" or "I know" or something like that. Love her confidence! Love her!‪#‎iwillfollowgodsplanforme‬ ‪#‎iloveadoption‬ ‪#‎adoptionrocks‬ ‪#‎hopingtoadopt‬‪#‎choosingadoption‬ ‪#‎adoption‬

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Her Birth Father

This morning Abby and I were playing on the floor. She would climb on to my back and I would roll her over my shoulder and set her down in my lap. At one point she didn't immediately get back up and she was sitting between my legs, our legs out stretched beside each other. We were both wearing shorts. I noticed the whiteness of mine against the darkness of hers. I like to talk to her about the differences in our physical appearance and tell her how pretty I think she is. I said "Look at our legs. Mine are very light, but yours are dark. I love your dark skin." I've said things like that lots of times, and we talk about Cheyenne a lot, but it occurred to me that I never tell her about her birth dad, C. That is partly because not only does Abby not know him but we don't either. I have never met him, never communicated with him in any way. This is his choice - he has denied paternity from the start and has never sought a relationship with Abby. I don't know if he really doesn't believe he fathered Abby or not, I really know very little about it. (I do facebook stock him occasionally - creepy???) Anyhow, this morning I thought maybe I should be telling Abby about him some so she knows not only that she has a birth mom, but a birth dad too. I told her that she got her beautiful dark skin from her birth dad C. She said "C loves me so much". I tell her a hundred times a day I love her so much, and I tell her other people love her so much, but I've never mentioned him before at all. It made me happy that she has confidence that she is very loved. I don't know whether he has love for her or not. I hope one day we will have a relationship with him and his family. But for today I just told her that everyone that knows her loves her so much. I told her that she also got her curly hair from him, and her eyes from him. And I told her that he helped create her, that he helped put her in Cheyenne's tummy to grow. She told me that "C makes me happy". I told her I love that she is happy. ‪#‎adoptionrocks‬ ‪#‎openadoption‬ ‪#‎adoption‬‪#‎choosingadoption‬ ‪#‎iloveadoption‬

Monday, September 8, 2014

In Awe of Birth Parents

This past weekend I got to attend a women's conference (Time Out For Women). It was great. My sister attended with me. During one of the talks a girl passed in front of us that I recognized. I met her 5 years ago at an adoption conference when we had just started the adoption process the first time. She sang at the conference with her son's adoptive mom. Ryan and I had the opportunity to eat lunch at the table with these two moms and their son! It was great. I loved learning what their relationship was like and how open their adoption was. I loved seeing the love that they each had for their son and the love they had for each other. It cemented for me the awesomeness of open adoption. Since then I have seen this birth mom several times. I don't know her name but we recognize each other and say hi. Anyway, as she passed in front of us I leaned over and whispered to my sister that she was a birth mom. My sister didn't really understand either what I was saying or why I would tell her that. I'm not totally sure what her confusion was about but since we were listening to someone speak I didn't really talk about it with her more. Anyway, I realized in that moment that the reason I pointed out that this lady was a birth mom was for a similar reason why you might point out someone walking by is a movie star, or a Nobel Prize winner, or a gold medalist, or something like that. I pointed her out because I think of birth parents with awe, with respect, with gratitude, with love, with admiration, with reverence. There is this person who chose to break her (or his) own heart because of so much love for another. This person did such a truly Christlike thing and I can only hope to be that amazing some day. I LOVE birth parents - they make the world a better place!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Grown in her tummy

We skyped with Abby's birthmom, Cheyenne, today. While they were talking Cheyenne told Abby she loved her. Abby responded "You grew me in your tummy". It made me so happy (Cheyenne too I think :)). I love that Abby knows why Cheyenne is an important part of our lives, and I love that she equates her love for Cheyenne, and Cheyenne's love for her with that incredible gift Cheyenne gave - she grew Abby, she created her, she loved her first, she gave her life, and has always given her all she could to have the life she wants her to have. We love Cheyenne, she grew the most incredible little person I know!