I Will Carry You

I heard this song for the first time yesterday. It was shared on a page for adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptees. I loved it - it starts out "There were photographs I wanted to take, things I wanted to show you, sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes". I thought it was a birth mom singing to a child she placed, I of course thought of Abby's amazing birth mom and I cried as I listened and was filled with gratitude for her while my heart also broke for the loss she felt/feels. I thought that I would like to put together a video of photos of Abby and Cheyenne with this song playing. As I looked into the song more I found a video of the lady that wrote the song and her husband who sings it telling about how it came about. They did not have a child that they placed for adoption. It's not adoption related at all. They had 3 little girls and were pregnant with their 4th. They went in for a routine ultrasound and were told that their baby had serious birth defects (she had non-working kidneys and so there was no amniotic fluid and she had heart problems as well.) They were told they wouldn't be able to carry her full-term and that even if she was delivered alive she would live maybe a minute. They were encouraged to abort her, saying it was the humane things to do. They chose life. Hearing about the intended meaning behind the song I thought about my friend who just had a miscarriage. She went in for her ultrasound to find out the sex of her baby. She had her 2 daughters with her. They had all been wanting a baby for so long, praying for years and were all so excited to find out if a boy or girl would be joining their family. Instead they found out the baby had died. I have been completely heart broken for them ever since. I thought of all my sisters and friends that have had miscarriages or have had children pass away. I thought about Cheyenne and how when she found out she was pregnant she was encouraged to have an abortion. She chose life instead. I thought about Abby and how the trauma that occurred during her delivery caused such a high likelihood of long-term special needs that the couple that had traveled from New York to adopt her backed out, and so we were given the chance to be her parents. And I thought about my mom, who when she was pregnant with me was told that I would have such severe birth defects that I would never function independently, that I would be both mentally retarded and physically handicapped - her doctor encouraged abortion, she switched doctors. For me, this song is for every one that has had a baby, wishing for a wonderful,long life for him/her, and not seen that wish realized and for everyone that has chosen life (and not only life, but chosen to give that child a life that she couldn't provide herself.)