Help Please

A family friend of ours for many years, Garth Abbott, has recently been diagnosed with that very aggressive form of breast cancer known as IBC, inflammatory breast cancer. He is a wonderful man and an example to all who know him as a dedicated father, grandfather, friend, and a humble servant to those around him. Sadly, he is uninsured and while he needs to start chemotherapy and radiation treatments immediately he is unable to show that he can pay for them and therefore cannot get the treatments he so desperately needs.

His daughter in law decided to try to get an auction going to try to raise some money for his treatments (they are going to cost over $100,000). MANY generous people have donated goods and services to be auctioned. There are 180 now I think.

NOW we need people to BID on these items! Please take a few minutes to check out the auction and see if there is something you are interested in purchasing. Many people have asked for a way to donate money directly to this wonderful man and so an account has been set up in his name...you will find the information for that on the blog as well.

http://www.thedailyabbott.blogspot.com

Thanks so much!

My Goals for 2010

I always have a desire to set goals at the beginning of the year. I often make huge lists of things I want to work on, and then end up failing in almost all of them I think. I am not sure how to rectify this issue, and doing so is not necessarily one of my goals. I just have so many areas of my life that I want to improve upon and it is hard for me to just pick a few to focus on. Perhaps I am not the only one with this problem. But after my grandma passed away one of my sisters got her journals and has started typing them up and giving us copies. I have read the two volumes I have so far and I found that several times she would make lists of her goals for a year, about as long as mine end up being. But she didn't only make the lists, she would come back several times throughout the year and evaluate how she was doing at meeting her goals. I will try to do this and see if I am more successful. So, here are my goals, by area.

Spiritual

• Spend time daily doing both personal and family religious study
• Get 100% visiting teaching every month
• Increase my understanding of the atonement through a more in depth study of the fall and the atonement
• Pray for and ponder ways to bring two of my favorite people to full activity in the church
• Have at least two of my friends take the discussions
• Learn to do family history and start doing it
• Catch up and keep up on my journal
• Don't say anything that could be considered gossip and if others start to gossip around me ask them to stop

Mental

• Become proficient in fMRI
• Read, or listen to, at least 6 classics
• Become more expert in autism and the aging brain (not that I am currently an expert in either, I just mean that I might not be considered an expert in either by the end of the year, I will just work on learning more about each)

Family and Home

• Clean my house for real at least once a month (nope, I'm not a great housekeeper, and it is hard to motivate myself to clean when Ryan and I don't make much of a mess so you don't really see dirt)
• Pick up my house daily, or at least every other day (don't want to commit to too much)
• Call a sister at least every other week (this is a goal not because I have to motivate myself to talk to my sisters, but because I HATE making phone calls to anyone - Ryan is the only one I don't have to talk myself into calling - it's a challenge - can't really explain why)
• Call my parents every week, or at least every other week (I can't always think of things to say on a weekly basis)
• See Ryan's family at least once a month
• Be better at recognizing Ryan's needs and desires and tyring to meet them, even if it means putting them above my own

Physical

• Exercise at least 156 days of the year (that's just 3 times a week)
• Eat more balanced and healthier (try to get all my food groups in every day in the proportions that I should)
• Only eat sugar on holidays and mine and Ryan's birthdays
• Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day - preferably 80 or more
• Take my vitamins every day
  

Social

• Do something with someone other than Ryan and people I work with at least twice a month, preferably once a week
• Do at least one act of service, outside of service related to my church callings, once a week
• Have friends to dinner at least once a month
• Keep current on my blog

Talents, or lack there of

• Practice the piano - at least an hour a week
• Learn to be a better photographer

Well, that is all I can think of right now - seems like I thought of some other ones throughout the past few days, so I may update later.

What are your goals?

An Atypical Christmas

Most years for Christmas I spend a few days putting up Christmas decorations, and a few days taking them down. This year, because of Ryan's shoulder surgery he was unable to be of assistance getting the decorations out of our attic, and because I do in fact value my life, I did not think it wise to risk it trying to get our heavy decoration boxes down unassisted. So we only had a Christmas tile thing I got at a Relief Society Christmas party and a stocking from my secrest sister (we do secret sisters in my bookclub at Christmas, which is fun).

Most years, in fact every year before this one, I have gone home for Christmas - even the years that we are to spend Christmas with our in-laws, I have always gone home for about a week soon after Christmas. This year I've stayed in Texas.

Two days before Christmas it was 75 degrees, and then I had my first white Christmas ever.

But the one constant that I have had this Christmas was having a Christmas Family. I am not really sure how the tradition started in my family, or when, but every Christmas for as long as I can remember my family has adopted another family to provide Christmas for. Since my family is so big now we don't always adopt the same family, but sometimes we do. This year Ryan and I still hadn't chosen a family the week before. I was feeling sad, having a hard time feeling like it was actually Christmas. But then the Sunday before we found our family. I went shopping on Wednesday, and had fun despite the traffic and crowds. Thursday we dropped the stuff off at the friend of our Christmas family that would take the stuff to them, and that was fun too. I didn't get to see the looks on the kid's faces as they opened the stuff, or even as things were dropped off. But just knowing that we got to help some people that are struggling enjoy their Christmas a little more made it feel like Christmas for me, and it felt good.

If you don't already have this tradition in your family I highly recommend it - it is my very favorite of all traditions!

Once again an aunt!

Yep, that's right, #23 arrived last night. Luke David Earl Nelson arrived last night, weighing in around 7 1/2 pounds. But even though he is a good-sized boy, he is almost a month ahead of schedule. My sister had just gone in for a regularly scheduled appointment and because of his size the doctor decided to do an ultrasound. While doing so he found that Luke had a heart problem and ordered an emergency c-section. A few hours later he was born. He is still in the NICU. We would be so appreciative of any prayers on his behalf. His heart is not doing great, and neither are his lungs so he is not getting enough oxygen. Prayers for his parents, Mark and Emily, would be great too. Thanks so much. As soon as I get pictures of my newest nephew I will post them!

25 Random Things

So, my friend Mary tagged me in Facebook - I didn't even know that was possible. I will do what I am asked to do in tags but I won't tag people just because I don't want people to feel pressured by me. But since I did the tag I decided I would put it in here too. If you want to do it, go ahead.

25 Random Things

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I have weird and specific tastes when it comes to chocolate. I like real milk chocolate (like in candy bars), but I do not like dark or semi-sweet chocolate – at all. I like tootsie rolls, but other chocolate flavored things disgust me, including chocolate flavored tootsie pops. There are a few hot chocolates that I am okay with (although I would never crave) but the thought of chocolate milk, or even worse, chocolate ice cream makes me squirm. I like brownies (at least fudgie ones) but I have never had a chocolate cake that I like (with the exception of munchedoucious cake.)
2. There are some processes that I can only tolerate part of and can’t stand the other part. For example, I am fine with writing letters, but I am horrible at mailing things. I don’t know what it is about mailing, even if I have stamps it is still an obstacle. As a result I have tons of unsent letters. I am fine with, and sometimes even enjoy, talking to most people on the phone – but I HATE calling people. The ONLY exception to this is Ryan, I can call him without having to give myself a pep-talk first. I am fine with washing and folding laundry but I can’t stand putting it away. I’m fine with cleaning the bathroom, all except the toilet – it grosses me out.
3. I love women’s pant suits, at least looking at them and buying them, but pretty much only want to wear jeans. So now I will only look.
4. There are times when I will just cry because I just get too excited – like one time when I went to a ballroom dance performance and another time in marine biology class when the whole lecture was on dolphins. I guess I sometimes just can’t hold my emotions in.
5. I an Olympic junkie. I generally really dislike watching sports on TV, but I don’t care what sport it is, if it is Olympics I LOVE it. I don’t get much accomplished whenever the Olympics are on – I am glued to the TV and usually I never watch TV.
6. I got a PhD not because I had great career ambitions, but just because I thought it would be a good thing to do and I wanted one. (I do think education is invaluable and I am addicted to school.)
7. There are certain jobs that I think I should take up if I ever stop doing what I am doing. For example, I think at some point I should become a locksmith. It can’t be that hard to learn how, the overhead can’t cost that much, each job takes about 5 minutes and you make $50. Sounds good to me.
8. I also think I should become a speed walker. I have two reasons for this. It is my only hope at getting into the Olympics and I already walk pretty darn fast. I can generally out-walk pretty much anyone I know, even if they are taller than me. I can walk fast for a long time too. I think the reason for this is because my dad is a fast walker and we would always hold our hands and we would have to keep up with him.
9. If I were male I would be an exotic animal veterinary dentist – I think that would be the best job in the world. The reason I went into neuroscience instead is because I didn’t want to have to pay off a ton of school debt (instead I got paid to go to school) when I didn’t intend to work all my life and I think as a stay at home mom the things I learned in my graduate program will be pretty valuable. I did really like my grad. program and I like what I am doing now so that is good.
10. I think being a full-time mom would be the greatest job in the world and I can’t wait until I can do that.
11. Until I can be a full-time mom I am really enjoying my life because I have the best-husband in the world, he is my best-friend, we have so much fun together on all of our adventures, and we are way blessed.
12. I served a mission for my church in northern California. It was the Santa Rosa Mission. I was never disappointed to have been called there. Although there has always been a part of me that would also like to have served in a foreign country just to have that experience as well, I would not trade my mission for any others. I am so grateful to have served with the people I did, to have taught the people I taught, to have been able to return to the same mission after coming home sick, and to have learned all that I did there. It was the best mission in the world, at least for me.
13. I have a goal to go to every continent – or at least all but Antarctica as I am not sure how plausible it is to get there.
14. I also have a goal to be able to name all 50 states and fill them in on a blank map before I have any children. Yes, it is ridiculous that someone as educated as I am can’t already do that, but there is a big whole in my knowledge of geography…and history…and government.
15. I read books multiple times. There are books that I have read more than 10 times. To me it is like watching a movie more than once. If I know I like a book I know I won’t be disappointed when I read it again.
16. I often wondered if I was adopted when I was little because I am the only blonde in my family. I have 6 sisters – 5 have red hair, 1 brown. My mom has red hair, my dad has brown. And then there is me. But I do look like my family, so it is all good.
17. In fact, whenever I show a picture to people of me with my sisters people will always say “Oh, you look exactly like her”, pointing to one of my sisters, but it is always a different sister. And one time when I was student teaching my youngest sister came to visit so I took her to school with me and at the start of one class period I was out of the room while the kids were coming in but she was there and they actually thought she was me and started asking her questions. Since it was the last period of the day she knew all the answers to the questions they were asking and so just answered them. They were totally blown away when I came in the room. It was pretty funny. One of them said, well I though “Miss Earl, what did you do to your hair?” She is also an inch or two shorter than me, but I guess they weren’t paying that close of attention.
18. When I offer to babysit for people I actually mean it. I enjoy babysitting for people – it makes me feel like we are really friends.
19. I did study abroad in London – I loved being there and totally plan on taking Ryan back with me sometime. I also need to get back to Paris as I was only there 3 days – not nearly enough time.
20. I have a goal to go to all 50 states – I need to count how many I have been to so far but I would guess at least ½.
21. I one time picked up a bird I thought was injured on a package of tortillas and gave it a ride home with me in my car. (It’s kind of a long story and I don’t feel like typing out the whole thing but if you care and know me well enough to talk to me in person or on the phone I will tell it to you. – it was pretty dang funny.)
22. I have a very difficult time with change. I don’t like it if plans change – once I already have things set in my mind on how things are going to be it is hard for me to make adjustments. I also don’t really like big changes in my life. It should have been good to graduate, but it was really, really hard on me. When ever I had to transfer (move areas) on my mission I hated it. I just like things to stay the same in my life and be predictable. (Little, good surprises are okay.)
23. I get very attached to people. I have a hard time letting people I have cared about move out of my life. That is really the only reason I do Facebook – to try to find the people I have lost track of and make sure they are doing okay.
24. I came from a family of almost all girls – I had 6 sisters and no brothers. Now we are all married and all my sisters have kids. My youngest sister just had my 16th nephew yesterday and I only have 6 nieces, so now we females are way out-numbered. But I really like my nephews, and my brothers-in-law, so it is okay.
25. I want to learn to be a better photographer – especially of people, but also of nature.

75,000 lost their jobs

Ryan told me that 75,000 people lost their jobs yesterday. It made me very sad for all of them, and very grateful for the good jobs we have. I struggle sometimes with knowing how to feel about being financially stable and being able to save when I know people are struggling so much. Sometimes I kind of feel guilty. I wish that everyone that wanted a job could have one and that this economic crisis we are in would end. I am sure it will some time. But I was sent an email today from one of my old mission companions that was a reminder of all the things we as Americans take for granted, how easy we have it. I tried to copy and paste it into here but the pictures wouldn't copy and it wouldn't have the same effect without the pictures. But what I came away from it with was a feeling of gratitude for living in this great country. I am sure that since Ryan and I still do have jobs and we aren't really struggling it is easier for me to be grateful - but I am grateful. I'm grateful I have never had to know what it is like to be truly hungry. I'm grateful I have never had to watch a child starve or someone I love die just because there wasn't sufficient medical help to save him/her. I am grateful I have always had clean water to drink and to wash with. I am grateful I have always had a home to shelter and clothes to keep me warm. I am grateful for a bed to sleep in. I am grateful for the great education I have received and that I haven't had to perform hard-physical labor all my life. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to know of Christ and worship God as I choose and for ALL the freedoms I have. I am grateful that even though happiness sometimes seems elusive we are free to pursue it. I am grateful to be American, even when things aren't great. This is a great country - how blessed we are. I will pray tonight not only for all those who lost their jobs, but also for all those who are struggling every day just to survive.

Turning my burdens over

I had had a migraine every day for over a week, maybe close to two - I couldn't remember any more, I just knew I hurt and I was tired. Each day I would wake up with one, I would try less dramatic medications first to get rid of it, if that didn't work, I would pullout the big guns (Imitrex). I have had migraines the majority of my life, I think since 5th grade. I have always gotten them with greater frequency than most migraine sufferers, usually about 2/3 of the days I have them (although a little more than a year ago I started taking a medication that has significantly reduced the frequency of my migaraines - thank you modern medicine.) I handle migraines fairly well having had them so long - this is a trial I can generally deal with. But at the end of a long migraine stretch like the one I was experiencing I do get tired and my tolerance dinimishes significantly. Unfortunately, at the end of this stretch my medications weren't working very effectively anymore. Saturday I had been able to dull the pain with meds, even though I had taken 2 Imitrex, but never got rid of it. Sunday I had tried taking my mom's migraine medication, Cafergott, and it didn't even dull the pain. There were going to be 50+ people coming over for our family Christmas party, I had done all I could think of to do, and I was in a lot of pain and couldn't deal with it anymore.
I then thought about how the Lord has been carrying my burden of the pain of infertility for me for so long, making it so I rarely feel it and still enjoy life. And I figured if He can do that then maybe he can just as easily carry physical pain as well. I didn't comprehend how it would work, but I figured I would give it a shot. And so I prayed, and told my Heavenly Father about my pain, and how tired I was, and that I had tried all I could do. I told Him I was grateful migraines are my trial rather than diabetes or some other physical afflication (which I am truly grateful about) but that I was ready for this migraine to be done. I told Him I knew He was able to make my burdens so light I couldn't feel it because he had done it for me already and even though I didn't comprehend how it would work for physical pain, I believed it was possible. So if he could please either take the pain away, or help me carry it, or make me stronger so I could carry it better, I would really appreciate it. I wouldn't say immediately but within the hour my migraine eased so considereably that it was hardly noticeable, just a nuisance. The next day was my first migraine free day. I have since always had threatening migraines, my head has been sore when I wake up and I know that I am on the verge of getting one, or maybe the migraine is there and I am just not feeling the full force of it. But reading the scripture again, I think the Lord answered all three of my requests:Mosiah 24:14-15:

14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who answers prayers and an incredible older brother, Jesus Christ, who through the atonement made it possible for me to find strength and comfort and release through pain when I need it!