Soul Sisters

In the first area of my mission I lived in a house with my companion (obviously) and another companionship (so two other girls). One of my roommates had a sister that sent her a talk tape, but on the tape she also included the song "Soul Sisters". It kind of became our theme song. So when I think of that song I think of the "Sisters" (women that I served with) on my mission. Although I learned a lot from a lot of different sisters on my mission, I just want to write about my companions, what I learned from them.

-Crystal Little - she was my MTC companion, my very first companion. I was blessed to get to serve in the same branch with her for our first six months in the field as well. We always wanted to be companions again, but I wasn't blessed with that chance. But we were trained at the same time (obviously) and then we trained at the same time. We got to talk about what we were learning along the way and since we were experiencing similar things it was extra helpful and drew us even closer together. From her I learned that a mission should be filled with joy AND FUN. She always worked hard, but with a smile on her face. Just seeing her you could tell how much she loved being a missionary. I also learned humility by her example. Also, I learned to think about what you say before saying it. She never was careless in her speech - what she spoke she meant to say, and it was always good.
-Jenny Cashmore - she was my trainer - that means she was my first companion in the field and was in charge of teaching me what to do as a missionary - and she did great. I have known a lot of people that did not like their trainer. I LOVED my trainer. From her I learned not only what to do as a missionary, but I learned the power of loving the people (she is filled with love) and to work hard til the end.
-Sandi Peterson - I trained her. From her I learned even more about how to be a missionary. I learned the power of testimony. I learned to pray more fervently. She really helped me become a better person.
-Christy Conger - I learned from her the power of touch (she always had hugs) and of laughter, even when you might not be that happy.
-Nancy Anderson - I learned from her to be sensitive to other people's feelings - that even though you may think what you are saying his harmless and you don't mean it in a negative or hurtful way, you should think about how what you are saying may be interpreted by others. I learned to laugh a lot more. And I learned about service.
-Haleigh McMullin - we were in a trio with Nancy Anderson, so when Haleigh came I learned about I learned about what it is like to be in a trio. I also learned more about how to let people know how important they are to you and to God.
-Shani Brinkerhoff - I learned the importance of faith and of the atonement in missionary work. I learned about relaxing sometimes and just having fun.
-Tsolomon - she is Mongolian and only has one name. I learned about being sensitive to different people's cultures. I learned about true charity. I learned about some flaws American's have, and some strengths. I learned we are all put in different places for reasons, whether to bless others or to be blessed by them.
-Jamie Whipple - from and with her I finally learned to have fun as a missionary - to have fun and be happy and really love being a missionary while still working hard and trying your best - to not be stressed about things out of your control or about little mistakes. I am not sure why it took my entire mission to learn this, my mission president wanted me to learn it much sooner, but I finally did - I am so grateful to her for helping me learn it.

And that is all the companions I had - they were pretty freaking fantastic, so lucky.

A Miracle Today

I made a friend my freshman year at BYU - Ty. We stayed friends the whole time I was at BYU, and then I went on my mission and I haven't seen him since then. A few years ago he co-authored a book, In Quiet Desperation. Ryan gave it to me for Christmas a couple years ago and it changed my life. The first third of the book is written by the parents of Stuart Matis - an LDS man who suffered from same-gender attraction and after years of struggling took his life. I remember when that happened, I was at BYU and felt so much sorrow for him and his family. His parents tell of his struggle and what they learned from it. The last two thirds are written by Ty - he tells of his own struggles with same-gender attraction and what he has learned. I LOVE this book - I think EVERYONE should read it (READ IT!).

Some of my favorite people in this world have this struggle. My best-friend from BYU (we met the second day of our freshman year and have been good friends ever since) has same-gender attraction, has embraced it, and lives a homosexual life-style. I have a sister that has 4 good friends that I can think of that also have same-gender attraction. While I do not support homosexual activity, I have great compassion for these individuals.

Because of my experiences with people who deal with same-gender attraction I did not think I would necessarily learn a lot from this book, I just thought it would be interesting to read it. But I was WRONG. I learned a ton! I think anyone that reads it learns a ton. The thing that has been most beneficial to me was learning how to apply the atonement more fully. In fact, I learned more about the application of the atonement from this book than any other book I have ever read - not only for forgiveness of sin, but really to become a better person - through the strengthening, enabling, comforting power of it - how it can help you develop true charity. I learned that what your challenge is doesn't matter - we all have challenges designed to help us draw closer to Christ. Ty says that same-gender attraction is not a weakness, it is a challenge that exposes weakness, a weakness of faith.

Additionally, for some time I was of the opinion that it was wrong to encourage people with same-gender attraction to marry someone of the opposite sex - that this will only lead to pain for all involved. While I still believe that people with this challenge should not be encouraged to just get married, or that getting married will cure them of their attraction, Ty taught me that there are people with same gender-attraction who are blessed with a person in their lives of the opposite sex that they are sufficiently attracted to to have a happy and successful marriage. That even when they are married they may still be challenged with same-gender attraction, but when you are married the nature of your attraction doesn't matter, as long as you love your spouse and are faithful to him or her. I had never considered that as a possibility before - I am not sure why - it seems so obvious now. But since that time I have prayed that Ty would be able to find someone (a female) in his life that he could marry. I have corresponded with him a few times through email about his book, and about marriage.

Today Ty is getting married to an amazingly beautiful girl. I couldn't be more happy for them. I am 100% confident that Ty is just as attracted to her and in-love with her and devoted to her as I am to Ryan. That Heavenly Father could make such an opportunity possible for them is a miracle to me - and I am grateful to know of it.

My Girls

I have been thinking for some time now about how blessed I have been by the women in my life. I have a fantastic life, filled with fantastic people. I have been wanting to write about the fantastic females in my life for some time now, but haven't taken the time to get around to it. But I am feeling so much joy in thinking about them today that I am going to.

The first group of women is my family. I have SIX sisters - I am so blessed. My sisters are the greatest gift my parents gave me. When people hear about how many sisters I have they will ask what that was like and if we fought a lot - I LOVE having all sister - all six sisters. Anyone that knows me well knows I love my family. My mom is superwoman - literally - the best woman I know. This is not only acknowledged by me and my sisters, but people outside my family as well. Why I was so blessed to be her daughter I do not know, but I am forever grateful. And then I have 6 AMAZING sisters, I love them all. I was also the granddaughter of the two BEST grandma's in the world. I have done a post all about my mom's mom, Grammy, before. I will do one about Grandma Lissa sometime - equally amazing. Added to my group of family women have been my super nieces, my aunts, my cousins, and my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. I know not everyone really likes their in-laws or feels like their in-laws like them. I LOVE Ryan's family, they are so super good to me, again, I am so blessed.

I grew up in one house - from the time I was one until I graduated from high school and moved away I lived in the same place - my parents still live there. Most of the people that lived around us did the same. I grew up with a HUGE group of girls my age - so lucky. I have two best friends - Wendi and Wendy - who I have known since before I can remember. They are phenomenal. And then there are about 20 more who even though I haven't seen some of them in years I still love them to death and feel close to them (Facebook and Blogs help with this).

I was blessed with great friends at BYU - from roommates to neighbors to classmates - I was blessed.

And then I went on a mission - I was again blessed with companions who taught me TONS and who I love (I will do another post on this).

I got married - to the BEST MAN IN THE WORLD - but this is a post about women so I will have to post about him another time.

We moved to Texas and I have again been blessed by great women. Our family ward here is filled with women around my age (give or take 10 years) and they make my life here joyful. Even though we have been in the single's ward a year now so I don't get to see all my friends as often as I would like - between book club, play group, and game nights we still keep up pretty well.

So why did I get blessed to have so many great women in my life? I don't know, but I think Heavenly Father knew I would need them to bring out my best self, to learn the things I need to learn, and to be happy. Thank you Heavenly Father, and thanks to all the women in my life - LOVE YOU!

Where I am at

Well, I thought I would review my goals and see where I am at.

Spiritual
• Spend time daily doing both personal and family religious study - pretty good
• Get 100% visiting teaching every month - got it last month
• Increase my understanding of the atonement through a more in depth study of the fall and the atonement - have started this but could intensify the study
• Pray for and ponder ways to bring two of my favorite people to full activity in the church - need to improve
• Have at least two of my friends take the discussions - need to work harder
• Learn to do family history and start doing it - need to start
• Catch up and keep up on my journal - doing great on one journal and terrible on the other
• Don't say anything that could be considered gossip and if others start to gossip around me ask them to stop - doing pretty good at not gossiping but haven't yet had hte courage to ask others to stop gossiping

Mental
• Become proficient in fMRI - improving
• Read, or listen to, at least 6 classics - just finished Pride and Prejudice
• Become more expert in autism and the aging brain (not that I am currently an expert in either, I just mean that I might not be considered an expert in either by the end of the year, I will just work on learning more about each) - improving

Family and Home
• Clean my house for real at least once a month (nope, I'm not a great housekeeper, and it is hard to motivate myself to clean when Ryan and I don't make much of a mess so you don't really see dirt) - I did clean my house really well this past month because my parents came to visit
• Pick up my house daily, or at least every other day (don't want to commit to too much) - I have improved
• Call a sister at least every other week (this is a goal not because I have to motivate myself to talk to my sisters, but because I HATE making phone calls to anyone - Ryan is the only one I don't have to talk myself into calling - it's a challenge - can't really explain why) - still working on this - why is it that I hate making phone calls so much - could it be genetic?
• Call my parents every week, or at least every other week (I can't always think of things to say on a weekly basis) - I believe I have talked to my parents at least every other week so far, but that just kind of happened
• See Ryan's family at least once a month - need to work on this - I did see his parents twice and his younger sister once, but didn't see his older sister at all
• Be better at recognizing Ryan's needs and desires and tyring to meet them, even if it means putting them above my own - needs improvement

Physical
• Exercise at least 156 days of the year (that's just 3 times a week) - doing fantastic - I have already exercised 31 days!
• Eat more balanced and healthier (try to get all my food groups in every day in the proportions that I should) - I have been eating pretty healthy, but can improve int he balance area
• Only eat sugar on holidays and mine and Ryan's birthdays - haven't had any sugar this year
• Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day - preferably 80 or more - doing fantastic, I usually drink about 100 ounces, except weekends are a little harder when I am at the temple or church all day
• Take my vitamins every day - doing pretty well - I know I have missed some days but I have taken them more days than I have missed

Social
• Do something with someone other than Ryan and people I work with at least twice a month, preferably once a week - I did last month
• Do at least one act of service, outside of service related to my church callings, once a week - I have been doing this but I haven't yet had to push myself or to do something outside my regular routine yet, so I should stretch myself more
• Have friends to dinner at least once a month - did this
• Keep current on my blog - I am currently a little behind but plan to catch up today

Talents, or lack there of
• Practice the piano - at least an hour a week - definately lacking
• Learn to be a better photographer - definately lacking

I think over all I am doing pretty well, but I obviously still need to improve - hopefully I will do better in February than I did in January.

Help Please

A family friend of ours for many years, Garth Abbott, has recently been diagnosed with that very aggressive form of breast cancer known as IBC, inflammatory breast cancer. He is a wonderful man and an example to all who know him as a dedicated father, grandfather, friend, and a humble servant to those around him. Sadly, he is uninsured and while he needs to start chemotherapy and radiation treatments immediately he is unable to show that he can pay for them and therefore cannot get the treatments he so desperately needs.

His daughter in law decided to try to get an auction going to try to raise some money for his treatments (they are going to cost over $100,000). MANY generous people have donated goods and services to be auctioned. There are 180 now I think.

NOW we need people to BID on these items! Please take a few minutes to check out the auction and see if there is something you are interested in purchasing. Many people have asked for a way to donate money directly to this wonderful man and so an account has been set up in his name...you will find the information for that on the blog as well.

http://www.thedailyabbott.blogspot.com

Thanks so much!

My Goals for 2010

I always have a desire to set goals at the beginning of the year. I often make huge lists of things I want to work on, and then end up failing in almost all of them I think. I am not sure how to rectify this issue, and doing so is not necessarily one of my goals. I just have so many areas of my life that I want to improve upon and it is hard for me to just pick a few to focus on. Perhaps I am not the only one with this problem. But after my grandma passed away one of my sisters got her journals and has started typing them up and giving us copies. I have read the two volumes I have so far and I found that several times she would make lists of her goals for a year, about as long as mine end up being. But she didn't only make the lists, she would come back several times throughout the year and evaluate how she was doing at meeting her goals. I will try to do this and see if I am more successful. So, here are my goals, by area.

Spiritual

• Spend time daily doing both personal and family religious study
• Get 100% visiting teaching every month
• Increase my understanding of the atonement through a more in depth study of the fall and the atonement
• Pray for and ponder ways to bring two of my favorite people to full activity in the church
• Have at least two of my friends take the discussions
• Learn to do family history and start doing it
• Catch up and keep up on my journal
• Don't say anything that could be considered gossip and if others start to gossip around me ask them to stop

Mental

• Become proficient in fMRI
• Read, or listen to, at least 6 classics
• Become more expert in autism and the aging brain (not that I am currently an expert in either, I just mean that I might not be considered an expert in either by the end of the year, I will just work on learning more about each)

Family and Home

• Clean my house for real at least once a month (nope, I'm not a great housekeeper, and it is hard to motivate myself to clean when Ryan and I don't make much of a mess so you don't really see dirt)
• Pick up my house daily, or at least every other day (don't want to commit to too much)
• Call a sister at least every other week (this is a goal not because I have to motivate myself to talk to my sisters, but because I HATE making phone calls to anyone - Ryan is the only one I don't have to talk myself into calling - it's a challenge - can't really explain why)
• Call my parents every week, or at least every other week (I can't always think of things to say on a weekly basis)
• See Ryan's family at least once a month
• Be better at recognizing Ryan's needs and desires and tyring to meet them, even if it means putting them above my own

Physical

• Exercise at least 156 days of the year (that's just 3 times a week)
• Eat more balanced and healthier (try to get all my food groups in every day in the proportions that I should)
• Only eat sugar on holidays and mine and Ryan's birthdays
• Drink at least 64 ounces of water a day - preferably 80 or more
• Take my vitamins every day
  

Social

• Do something with someone other than Ryan and people I work with at least twice a month, preferably once a week
• Do at least one act of service, outside of service related to my church callings, once a week
• Have friends to dinner at least once a month
• Keep current on my blog

Talents, or lack there of

• Practice the piano - at least an hour a week
• Learn to be a better photographer

Well, that is all I can think of right now - seems like I thought of some other ones throughout the past few days, so I may update later.

What are your goals?

An Atypical Christmas

Most years for Christmas I spend a few days putting up Christmas decorations, and a few days taking them down. This year, because of Ryan's shoulder surgery he was unable to be of assistance getting the decorations out of our attic, and because I do in fact value my life, I did not think it wise to risk it trying to get our heavy decoration boxes down unassisted. So we only had a Christmas tile thing I got at a Relief Society Christmas party and a stocking from my secrest sister (we do secret sisters in my bookclub at Christmas, which is fun).

Most years, in fact every year before this one, I have gone home for Christmas - even the years that we are to spend Christmas with our in-laws, I have always gone home for about a week soon after Christmas. This year I've stayed in Texas.

Two days before Christmas it was 75 degrees, and then I had my first white Christmas ever.

But the one constant that I have had this Christmas was having a Christmas Family. I am not really sure how the tradition started in my family, or when, but every Christmas for as long as I can remember my family has adopted another family to provide Christmas for. Since my family is so big now we don't always adopt the same family, but sometimes we do. This year Ryan and I still hadn't chosen a family the week before. I was feeling sad, having a hard time feeling like it was actually Christmas. But then the Sunday before we found our family. I went shopping on Wednesday, and had fun despite the traffic and crowds. Thursday we dropped the stuff off at the friend of our Christmas family that would take the stuff to them, and that was fun too. I didn't get to see the looks on the kid's faces as they opened the stuff, or even as things were dropped off. But just knowing that we got to help some people that are struggling enjoy their Christmas a little more made it feel like Christmas for me, and it felt good.

If you don't already have this tradition in your family I highly recommend it - it is my very favorite of all traditions!