Super Abby

First Popsicle

First Popsicle - it was a hit!

Family wants you, accepts you, and loves you

Birth Moms Are Special

Birth Moms are Special! Sweet post about the daughter of a birth mom and her reminder that ALL birth moms are special!
I am especially fond of Abby's birth mom, she's my favorite one wink emoticon
http://www.adoptionsharethelove.net/birth-moms-are-special/

Paint

For my birthday my awesome sister-in-law gave me a gift certificate for a pedicure. I've never had one before. Until yesterday. I went with her and got one, it was fun. Abby was asleep when we left. When she woke up from her nap she noticed my toes. (Not only was this the first time I've had a pedicure I am just not a nail painter - I think in the 11 years I've been married I've maybe painted my toe nails 5 times, maybe.) She touched my toes, then she touched hers. I asked her if she wanted her toes painted too. She said yes. She wanted me to paint them but I told her Heather (my sister-in-law) would probably do a better job. Heather gave her 2 colors to choose from, then Abby sat very still and patiently while she did them. She's been super excited ever since, keeps talking about our paint. What do you think?!?!

Not Ours

A couple days ago I got a call from a case worker from an adoption agency we signed up with. She let me know that they had a potential match for us! She told me all about the expectant couple. This baby will be born December 1st, in Texas, about 4 hours away from us. The parents are both fully Caucasian - the mom is blonde with blue eyes, dad has brown hair. This is her 5th child (their 3rd together), she hasn't parented any of them. Her oldest daughter is smart - she's skipped a grade.
Before she even told me a single thing about the situation I didn't feel anything - not excitement, or joy, or anything. Hearing more about it I didn't receive any of those feelings. (The second I started reading the email in which I first learned about Abby I felt all those things and more, my eyes were watering and I could hardly breath.) I didn't feel like this was our baby, but I WANT one, I WANT Abby to have a playmate. I WANT more kids, and before we're in our 50s! She said we needed to let her know by the end of the day if we were interested in pursuing this match. So I called Ryan and told him all she'd told me. He was uncomfortable with it from the start. I didn't know if my lack of enthusiasm was because the baby really wasn't meant to be with us, or because I was disappointed s/he will be fully white (I would really like Abby to have a multi-racial sibling). Ryan said I that since neither of us were feeling right about it that I should just call her and tell her no. So that was my plan, but then when I thought about calling her and saying no to a baby I couldn't bring myself to do it. Oh, I want a baby, I really want one. And it wouldn't be terrible to have a child that looks similar to us. So I waited until Ryan got home and we talked some more. And then we prayed. And the moment he started praying about it I KNEW - it's NOT our baby. It's not. I don't know where or baby is, or when our baby will join us, but this one isn't ours. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for us, and I trust His plan, and I know His plan will always be better than mine - but I sure would like to know a little bit more of the details of what that plan is exactly. Come on baby, we want you now!

Rainbow Eyes

This morning after Abby finished her breakfast I leaned close to her and she put her hands on my cheeks - I LOVE that! Then she put her hand on the top of my head and said "head". She moved around my face touching different parts. Eventually she put her finger on my eyebrow and said "rainbow eyes". Love my girl!

Two Women, Both Mothers

Choose the Kids!

Little Miss Smarty

Last night we watched a fireworks show. I was practicing with my camera, trying to get some good fireworks pictures. Abby asked if she could take some pictures. I explained to her that because it was dark out it takes the camera a long time to take the picture so you have to hold the camera very still while it is working. She said "I'll hold it with 2 hands." Neither Ryan nor I have ever explained to her that using two hands helps things be steadier. She astounds us all the time with comments like these - showing clearly that she is reasoning things out and coming up with solutions. She is brilliant, and I love her.

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption

Number 30

Abby had another cousin born today - Daniel Grey Ross. She now has 6 girl cousins and 23 boy cousins! Can't wait to meet him!

Being A Daddy

Mothers In Waiting

Happy Birthday America!

Watching the 4th of July parade in Granbury. Happy birthday America. And happy family day for us! (I have to admit, when I see the military veterans walk by I always get a little emotional. I'm so grateful for all who have sacrificed to make this country great!)

Adoption is special

"I think open adoption is special because it really is about the combined love of everyone involved coming together for one child. You have different people, coming together who often are different ages, maybe from different areas, and different walks of life, who try to put those thoughts aside and focus on what has brought them together; the shared love of one child." -A birth mom

When You're Not Chosen

I just read this post (here) and am now in tears. Adoption is HARD, it is hard for everyone involved (birth parents, adoptive parents, adoptees). It's beautiful, miraculous, wonderful, such an incredible gift, and I am so incredibly grateful for it, but it is hard. I ache for birth parents. I pray for them, I cry for them, I think about them. I have thought before about how hard it must be not only to choose whether to parent or not, but also to choose who the parents will be. I hadn't thought before that birth parents also ache for us - for those they didn't choose. From the time we started the adoption process (meaning actually had our profile up - not just all the time it took to know it was right and do all the necessary stuff to be able to adopt) until we became Abby's parents was 2.5 years. In those 2.5 years we were not contacted by a single prospective birth parent - not a single one. I knew that our profile had been looked at several times, but none of them contacted us. I started to wonder what was wrong with us - were we not good looking enough, not smart enough, do they not like our jobs, were we not funny enough - what about us wasn't enough to even inspire a desire to learn more about us. I knew intellectually that when our child's birth parent found us we would connect, and that a failed placement or not getting chosen would be hard, but still no contact was also a hit to my self-esteem. We've now had our profile up for over 6 months and again, no contact. (Our case worker did show our profile to a prospective birth mom but we were not chosen.) Having had things work out so perfectly with Abby I have more faith in my Father's plan and so I'm more patient - but still I wonder why don't you even want to know us? We have the cutest kid in the world that wants to be a big sister so badly and she will be fabulous! Why wouldn't you want that for your baby? Anyway, I digress. Before reading this post I never thought about birth parents thinking about those of us who they considered but didn't choose, but now I will. And I feel grateful that they care, and at the same time sad to add one more thing to their heart break.